Big Talkers Big Listeners
By Moshe Katz
Israeli Krav International

September 23, 2019, New York, USA

We have all seen them, we all know them. Big Talkers. They talk about fights they engaged in. They sit around the bar, beer in hand, and tell tall tales of thugs they have bested, rude disrespectful people they have put in their place. "Man, I showed that guy a lesson."

I tend not to believe these stories; I see several problems.

The stories are too perfect, they sound more "reel" than real. I.e. sounds more like a movie scene that a real encounter. Real encounters rarely end up as perfect as these stories.

Those who did engage in such fights, on the whole, tend not to talk about it. The very fact that one is talking about such a story leads me to believe that it did not take place. So I will nod my head respectfully and go back to my coffee.

Those who do engage in such fights are not proud of them. They are humbled. The fights never turn out well, and a true man is never happy about having hurt another human being. 

My first Judo instructor, Sensei Tony, told us the following. I have been in several fights, I wanted none of them, and from each although I did prevail I have a souvenir: from one a broken finger, from another a jammed thumb and from another a broken tooth. 

If a fight sounds perfect, it is almost always fiction. 

Now these Big Talkers, they are usually so busy talking that they are not listening, they are not watching, they are not paying attention to what is going on around them. Big talkers are not big listeners.

I have seen Big Listeners, they observe and absorb everything. They pay attention and notice details. They are the ones who spot trouble before it starts. 

Which one are you?