May 25, 2021
Some people succeed in life and others do not. Books and lectures are being offered all the time on how to succeed. The authors tend to succeed more than those who purchase their books. I will share one tip that I have learned over the years, worked with, experimented with, and seen results. This is free.
It is not only a technique for life but for preserving life. I will call it Developing Confidence, or getting used to being successful.
First I will start with what I have learned not to do; Crush one's hope. This is actually the more common method of teaching Bad Ass martial arts. You can see it in the Karate Kid films. People admire the Tough Guy/Bad Ass teacher but most will find their spirit crushed. I have experienced this a great deal and most will quick before the day is over. Every little mistake is jumped upon as an opportunity to show you that you are a worthless loser and really have no place in this martial arts academy. Those who can survive the continued verbal, mental, and sometimes physical abuse, indeed will come out stronger, but most will not.
But I am heading towards another point. I am not advocating cuddly, easy going training, not at all. I am speaking of the psychology of the human being; train a person for failure and low self-esteem and that will be the case. Train someone to feel like a true champion, and he will be.
In Israel I often see, among the religious, a parent will refer to a child, or even friends to each other, by 'Sadik', which means a Righteous One. Let me tell you the effect; it is not taken lightly, you actually want to live up to that! You want to feel that you deserve it, you want your behavior, your ethics, to show that you truly are a Sadik, a righteous person. Give a person a good name and he will try to live up to it. Tell someone he is a loser and he might actually believe you.
I don't give out "Participation awards" and I don't want to give false confidence. But I do believe that if a person, a student, feels that they have improved, they have succeeded, this will cause them to develop more confidence and actually improve at a faster rate. This is not an ego boosting idea, it is a technique that will expediate the rate of improvement. Believing in your ability, having experience in success, will help you improve and succeed in everything you do. You become a winner, nothing will stop you, obstacles are only challenges to push you further ahead.
This is why if a student is having trouble with a technique, I feel it is better to work on a technique that they are better at, focus on something you are doing well, and then come back to the more challenging technique. Doing well on one technique will improve their ability on another technique. Focusing on repeated failures and disappointment will not help your progress.
If I wish to show why a certain technique is less effective, we will practice that briefly, but not too much. I do not want the students to develop the habit of failure. However, by doing a successful gun disarm, a successful knife defense, again and again, imprints in the mind and the brain and the consciences and the soul, that one will succeed!
I have watched this over a lifetime of teaching I have seen troubled youth emerge as parents, professionals and warriors. Train people to develop the Confidence that comes from doing things well and it will affect their entire lives.
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